you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
