I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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