Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Drunk is not a location!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
