"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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