My underwear smells like fireworks.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
