Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
cat food counts as protein by the way
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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