We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
