I think my vagina is haunted
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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