My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
