Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
