do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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