Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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