this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
