i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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