It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
All I want is dick and wine.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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