If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
