this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
