Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
