About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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