Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
