forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
