i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
