Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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