Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
