Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
