We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Randomize
