Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
