Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
