...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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