New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
PANTIES FOUND
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