it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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