Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
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I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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