So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
