I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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