I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
