If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
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He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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