she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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