Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
