Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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