I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Randomize
