I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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