I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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