well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
