its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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