Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person

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  (502): everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person http://tfl.nu/7xqj
  Replies (37) Good night (959) Bad night (2188)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.

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  (412): I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes. http://tfl.nu/yyns
  Replies (107) Good night (3267) Bad night (818)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  he just said he'd buy the porn

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  its a step up from the last guy

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  (919): he just said he'd buy the porn (919): its a step up from the last guy http://tfl.nu/xur4
  Replies (9) Good night (2423) Bad night (631)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.

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  (224): it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday. http://tfl.nu/m5qz
  Replies (11) Good night (746) Bad night (2654)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started

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  (812): Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started http://tfl.nu/zumk
  Replies (54) Good night (7072) Bad night (2101)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.

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  (773): he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex. http://tfl.nu/ci3t
  Replies (23) Good night (4701) Bad night (1051)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.

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  (724): btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die. http://tfl.nu/rrxi
  Replies (13) Good night (5918) Bad night (972)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis

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  (203): apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis http://tfl.nu/rw8g
  Replies (2) Good night (4445) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie. 

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  (502): So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.  http://tfl.nu/6cm8
  Replies (7) Good night (1721) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?

  (940): View more from Texas

  I worry about you.

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  (817): What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes? (940): I worry about you. http://tfl.nu/kzw0
  Replies (6) Good night (633) Bad night (1144)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I can feel my liver begging me to stop.

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  (479): I can feel my liver begging me to stop. http://tfl.nu/j2ah
  Replies (2) Good night (914) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.

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  (715): After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted. http://tfl.nu/w4vl
  Replies (5) Good night (518) Bad night (1102)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"

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  (402): The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?" http://tfl.nu/ovas
  Replies (11) Good night (679) Bad night (1388)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.

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  (903): And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table. http://tfl.nu/a0uv
  Replies (1) Good night (668) Bad night (330)
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.

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  (44): You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas. http://tfl.nu/b55v
  Replies (3) Good night (404) Bad night (155)

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