Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize