you would pick up someone in the library
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now