You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
