Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out

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(303): oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out http://tfl.nu/89b7

Replies (16) Good night (794) Bad night (3616)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.

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(203): I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under. http://tfl.nu/oj4t

Replies (14) Good night (3489) Bad night (748)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.

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(815): I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore. http://tfl.nu/ecds

Replies (35) Good night (2472) Bad night (4999)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.

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(902): you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it. http://tfl.nu/s8ya

Replies (28) Good night (3840) Bad night (1286)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down

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(+44): i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down http://tfl.nu/7vyc

Replies (4) Good night (2842) Bad night (779)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.

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(256): Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby. http://tfl.nu/s0x6

Replies (9) Good night (1951) Bad night (746)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?

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(732): A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me? http://tfl.nu/nk2r

Replies (11) Good night (2545) Bad night (739)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.

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(617): Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas. http://tfl.nu/mhor

Replies (3) Good night (1041) Bad night (567)
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(914): View more from New York

true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"

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(914): true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS" http://tfl.nu/3w8r

Replies (14) Good night (1351) Bad night (445)
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(509): View more from Washington

My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand

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(509): My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand http://tfl.nu/ch2o

Replies (15) Good night (2825) Bad night (568)
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(386): View more from Florida

Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.

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(386): Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together. http://tfl.nu/96ms

Replies (3) Good night (794) Bad night (331)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.

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(201): It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night. http://tfl.nu/1gt9

Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (362)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may

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(303): Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may http://tfl.nu/mwgs

Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (353)
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(315): View more from New York

Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"

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(315): Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick" http://tfl.nu/b4qj

Replies (0) Good night (347) Bad night (295)
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(+61): View more from Australia

Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.

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(+61): Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things. http://tfl.nu/ocj8

Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (321)

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