wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Even my vagina gasped.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
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