NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
