i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize