I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
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She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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