You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
