Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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