No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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