YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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