im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
