no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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