I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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