We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
