saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
