I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
