Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
