Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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