YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
