my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
