North Korea, Best Korea!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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